Advice to My Younger Self
This a letter from your much older, wiser, and braver self. You have just discovered a style which feels like your sun and moon. The one problem? It's different from the norm and loudly so. Do not be afraid to embrace that which you love. True passion is so rare and so beautiful that you simply cannot allow a single drop to go to waste. I know that you worry about the details - about that one tooth that just won't fall in line and feeling like you have to decide once and for all what you'll do in the future. I'll tell you a secret - you will change your mind more times than you can count and this will open up just as many doors. Your possibilities are limitless and your world is just as expansive.
You dream of going to Japan and wearing the fashion you love. You will do both with such success that you'll surprise even yourself. Right now you have a small friend circle with whom you feel comfortable sharing your love of lolita fashion, but that will grow into a wonderful and giving community in the future. Your opportunities to do amazing things will multiply beyond the depths of even your wild imagination. You'll move to a new city, make amazing new friends, and learn that with a little bit of courage, the impossible becomes a reality. One day, you'll appear in a Gothic & Lolita Bible as a model surrounded by inspirational lolitas and many new friends. Anything is possible if you allow yourself to believe it to be so.
At the moment you are a perfectionist and it stops you from trying things you think you might not be good at. It holds you back more than you can even begin to fathom. You will try and fail many times in many different areas of your life, but you will succeed so much more! It is easy to feel like you're alone, stuck up in that tall tree in the front yard and unable to get down because you've tied your jump rope you used to climb up (Mulan-style) into a million knots. The reality is very different when you realize that everyone around you is going through the same thing, though maybe not for the same reasons. One day you'll realize this. You'll take a leap of faith from your lonely maple to a nearby pine just for the view and your entire world will change. Keep jumping and keep looking. Don't close your eyes for a second, because often the most amazing things are fleeting. Embrace that ephemerality and chase the stardust of your dreams - even if they feel so very out of reach.
Wear what you love. The world would be terribly boring if we all wore uniforms and you're no one's toy soldier to put into line. You are beautiful. You feel deeply and you love deeply. One day you will find people outside of your family who truly appreciate all of these aspects of you and it will be the most amazing feeling in the world.
Above all dear Me, thank you. Thank you for never giving up when that tree felt too tall or when the leap felt too far. In the toughest decisions, you grew and evolved into who I am today and I wouldn't take back a moment of it. Thank you for teaching me to jump and pull off a few spectacular landings.
All my love,
Your future self